“The best way to capture moments is to pay attention. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake.” - Jon Kabat Zinn
Last week, my blog post returned to the purpose of this photography project. To refresh, for me, my intention and motivations for successfully and happily living a life of sobriety.
The week has been a good one, with no lapses nor desires to be altered. I have enjoyed time out in nature, hiking and capturing photos, reading, jigsaw puzzling, daily planning, and exercising. And by avoiding over-indulgence in social and news media. I've finally arranged for health care coverage, after being without for the last couple of years. I completed an at-home sleep apnea test to resolve poor sleep problems. I am staying the course and moving in a positive direction.
The thing I felt most successful at was my awareness of and appreciation of mindfulness: being present to the moment, particularly moments that could have left me harboring unresolved anxieties. Let me share an example of a morning of "irritations" I experienced that, in the past, could have spun me up. I was intending to drop off a load of items at Goodwill, make a quick grocery stop, and then proceed to my therapy appointment. Here are how events transpired and my response to each:
1. I loaded the donation items and checked the web for the nearest Goodwill location and operating hours. As I arrived at the donation center, 30 minutes after opening, I found the drive blocked with orange cones and the center was closed. Arghh! With a brief pause and a moments thought, I realized I can just do the drop elsewhere at another time, so I just moved on with grocery shopping. No worry, let it go!
2. I completed my grocery shopping, sticking to a list (a new commited habit) and proceeded to self-checkout, something I am very familiar with and usually do. This time, I was at a screen that prompted me for quantity, I paused for a moment to pull my shoppers card from my wallet and then the attending checkout person stepped up and told me I need to enter the quantity and then press the "Done" key or I would not be able to scan the rest of my items, in what I felt was a very condescending tone. I felt myself tense and anger start to rise. But then I realized she is just doing her job, likely dealing with many people of different "abilities " being "stuck" in the checkout process. Nothing personal; let it go.
3. As I reached the top of the stairs in the parking garage with my two grocery bags to return to my car , a young man came around a blind corner, nearly colliding with me and causing my balance to falter. This could have resulted in a nasty fall. I was pissed because the young man was "buried" in his cell phone, not paying any attention to his surroundings, and proceeded down the stairs with his head still "buried". I paused, decided it was OK to be angry for a moment, then chose not to remain angry. Breathe, let it go!
4. I arrived at my counseling appointment and all of the visitor parking was filled. There were many "Members" reserved spots open but I knew Murphy's Law would bite me if I parked illegally. So, I chose to drive to a nearby park, paid the hourly fee, and enjoyed a block's walk in nature back to the office. (Good thing I like to be early for appointments!) I had a good session, sharing these events as successful "pause points", letting go!
I have other similar successes this week of being attentive to situations and my reactions, recognizing the power I have to choose "healthy" responses, to defuse those little "anxiety" bombs, and to prevent a buildup of unresolved or unreleased stresses that are a part of everyday life. I know that letting such stress and anxiety build is a very dangerous behavior for me regarding my sobriety, in the past leading to lapses.
I'm really getting to like this mindfulness thing!!
instagram.com/bobd.photography
#Recovery52 #photography #photographyproject # photoproject #recovery #sobriety #smartrecovery