My last post ended with thoughts of describing my healthy habits and routines that I believe help me stay on the safe path of sobriety. Now I am finding myself a bit unfocused, my mind mulling over this and other topics, intertwined and likely to result in a pelting of incoherent and shallow thoughts: healthy routine, rigidity, self-trust, anxiety, fear and uncertainty, emotional pile-on, mindfulness. All important issues to comprehend in my recovery journey, but best for me to focus on one topic and save thoughts on the others for future posts.
I confided with a friend that I was feeling a bit low and uncertain of my focus. She suggested I revisit my whole purpose for this project, coming back to the light and leaving darker subjects for later. Thank you!
"Intention sets a conscious direction; motivation sustains our drive in that direction."
Intention is deliberate, a desire to attain or achieve something. A blend of motivations are often in play, some conscious, and perhaps some sub-conscious. Motivations can wax and wane over time, even within the same day. Motivations can be propelled from within ("intrinsic") or compelled from without ("extrinsic'). Motivations can be positive, drawing toward pleasure, or negative, pushing away from pain. A fascinating stew!
Here is my current state of intention and motivations:
Intention:
To achieve and maintain joyful sobriety from alcohol.
Motivations:
1. Awareness and acceptance that I have been living a purposeless, goalless life. Without direction or plans. I want a life with meaning and fulfillment.
2. Excitement and commitment to this photography project.
3. Enjoying the benefits of healthy living - both mentally and physically
4. A commitment to family, loved ones and friends. Being available, reliable, and honorable.
5. No more physical, mental and emotional pain that results from drinking.
OK, this review has helped lift my mood and cleared the path ahead. (No, I've not slipped and I am firmly committed to my intention!) Perhaps next week I'll get back to describing my healthy behaviors and tools that give me strength and support my efforts.
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