“Don't let the bearers of bad news become the pallbearers of your happiness.”
— Stewart Stafford
My initial thoughts for this week’s post were about revisiting rumination—how dwelling on the past or worrying about the future stirs up shame, regret, and fear. Those imagined monsters can become powerful triggers. But I’ll save that for another post.
Last night, I felt the early stirrings of anger—an emotional rise that reminded me of the kind of mood that once led me toward drinking. It began after I came across a few news headlines that irritated me. Instead of stepping back, I found a recent podcast on the topic, hosted by people I used to find humorous. Within fifteen minutes, I realized my agitation was growing. I shut it off immediately, returned to silence and mindfulness, and eventually shifted into reading for pleasure. I wasn’t close to relapse—I was self-aware.
I credit part of my recovery progress to recognizing the dangers of overindulging in news and social media, especially sources designed to provoke fear, outrage, and division. After the September 11th attacks, I became a news ’junkie,’ absorbing talk radio and cable news for hours each day. My beliefs, biases, and worldview were shaped by constant exposure to negativity.
As social media grew, I dove into the toxic stream—posting, arguing, sharing my ’truths,’ and mocking others’ opinions. I was angry, and I was drinking. The anger fueled the drinking, and the drinking fueled the anger.
In 2007, I created a Twitter account, where I shared links and made snarky comments about news and culture. By 2013, I had posted over 17,000 tweets and had more than 2,000 followers. My drinking was worsening, affecting my family and marriage. I realized I needed to cut my immersion in all that negativity if I hoped to get sober. I deleted my account and haven’t returned. Drunken tweets are never good.
During my lapses last year, I spent too much time with political commentary—podcasts, YouTube channels, and cultural debates. I was often agitated, on edge. Combined with other factors, each lapse turned into a binge, followed by remorse, regret, apologies, and promises to stop. None of it held until my final relapse.
Since that turning point, I’ve deliberately reduced my exposure to news media. Now, I mostly skim headlines, pay attention to what matters, and distinguish factual reporting from opinion. On social media, I focus on photography, food, this project, and the occasional bit of light humor. I still follow local issues now and then, but I try not to be snarky.
My success here comes from knowing my history, recognizing my triggers, and choosing healthier responses when old patterns surface. Recovery requires vigilance—especially now, in another exhausting political cycle and an overstimulating media environment.