“Sometimes, we motivate ourselves by thinking of what we want to become. Sometimes, we motivate ourselves by thinking about who we don’t ever want to be again.”
— Shane Niemeyer
This past week has been stable — without stumbles, not even close — but also without any celebratory wins. A recent knee injury has limited my movement and kept me from nature walks. I’ve noticed “triggered” sensations tied to old associations and have let them pass mindfully, without harm. I’ve been a bit more irritable, finding frustration in ordinary moments. I’ve caught myself slipping into cynical thinking — quick judgments, assumptions without facts. But self-awareness has helped me pause, reassess, and reframe my thoughts in more grounded, positive ways. Mindfulness isn’t always easy, but it’s always necessary for my sobriety.
I’ve joined a few recovery Facebook groups these past weeks, partly to keep a toe in the water and partly to remind myself I’m not swimming alone. I see people stumbling in early recovery and people thriving years into sobriety. Some find strength in a higher power; others find it within themselves. From research, testimony, and my own experience, I know there is no single path to recovery. For me, having a why — a reason and a purpose — has helped me stay on the path with confidence. I’m still not completely clear on what I want, but I am absolutely certain of what I do not want: to live and die drunk and alone.
And if sharing my words here helps even one person in their recovery, I am grateful to be of service.