“There’s not a drug on earth that can make life meaningful.”
— Unknown
This is not my first time attempting recovery from alcohol abuse. In the past, I tried to do it alone and only managed short periods of abstinence. Later, with outside support, I found recovery groups that gave me tools and connection, and I experienced longer stretches of sobriety. But eventually, the relapses returned — usually because I wanted to numb rather than feel the “pain” I believed my life was causing me.
What’s different this time is that I am being mindful in how I respond to daily stressors. I recognize when old triggers are present. I pause. I give myself the time to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. When a thought of drinking rises — whether to numb discomfort or amplify pleasure — I ask myself, “How would this serve me?”
I have firmly set my answer: “It won’t.” I remember the damage alcohol has caused to myself and to others. I move on from the urge, feeling a sense of pride for choosing well in the moment, and building confidence each time I defuse a potential stumble.
Recently, I joined a handful of Facebook recovery groups where I’ve shared my photography project blog and occasional reflections. As I read through these groups, I realize how fortunate I am right now. Many people are just beginning their recovery work. Others lack support or tools. Too many are struggling with severe health issues, broken relationships, and overwhelming life challenges.
My own frustrations feel small by comparison. I feel deep gratitude toward the people who post their stories, express their vulnerability, and ask for help. Their honesty reminds me of the path I walk — and how much harder it could be. I am thankful to all who are suffering and all who are sharing the journey.