“Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future.”
— Deepak Chopra
Another solid week in recovery. A good week, really. I’ve had several topics waiting in the wings for this project — often teasing which one might come next — but once again I let last week’s idea simmer and chose to write about something that surfaced unexpectedly yesterday: the subtle, familiar whisper of the addictive voice.
I’m a member of the Portland Japanese Garden, a sanctuary of calm and a favorite place for photography and reflection. I’d been thinking of visiting soon, early in the morning with my camera. Then today I received a promotional email about a fundraising event titled In Praise of Time – Celebrating a Century of Japanese Whisky. The misspelling of “whisky” was theirs, not mine.
I skimmed the details and thought, “No, probably not for me,” and deleted the email. Later, as I considered scheduling a garden visit, the event resurfaced in my mind — quietly, almost innocently. A whisper: It’s a cultural event. It would be safe. The people there wouldn’t be alcoholics. You could go and not drink.
NO!
I stopped that line of thinking immediately. I know exactly where that train goes if I let it build momentum. The next whisper would be, Hey, maybe you could control it… maybe just one… you’re handling it. And then the old pattern of complacency, relapse, and pain.
This wasn’t a craving. I had no desire for alcohol. What I recognized was the voice itself — the old neural groove that once led me back into drinking. My success was in catching it early: practicing self-awareness, staying mindful, recognizing outdated mental habits, and staying true to my recovery.
Maybe that voice will always be with me. Maybe quiet, maybe infrequent, but still something to be wary of. Awareness is protection.