“It is great to be introspective, self-analysis can be useful, but only if it results in action.” — Joe Sacco
I feel solid in my sobriety. But through deeper awareness and the self-inventory work I wrote about last week, I’ve also been feeling a sense of selfishness in how narrowly focused my recovery has been. I’m strong and successful in my abstinence from alcohol. I appreciate the clarity of mind, the physical improvements, and the integrity returning to my life. I feel in control of my addiction.
Yet while my recovery mindset serves me well around alcohol, I can still see echoes of addictive thinking in other parts of my life:
• Food and diet: I generally eat well, but still allow too many poor choices and oversized portions, ignoring what I know to be better.
• Escapism and distraction: Reading, binge-watching shows, listening to podcasts and YouTube, or filling time with low-priority tasks.
• Shopping: Not buying excessively, but chasing the excitement of searching, comparing, imagining how a new item might improve my life.
Of course, alcohol would make all of these areas far more difficult to manage. But my mindfulness practice is strong enough now that I can apply it more broadly—to my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors across the board.
More importantly, I’m noticing something about my relationships: while I’m focused on maintaining sobriety, several close friends and family members are facing serious health challenges. I’m offering support, and I care deeply—but I know I could be more present, more available. I’m also engaged in several online recovery groups, seeing people struggling through relapse or painful early recovery. Compared to what many of them are facing, my own problems feel small.
I remind myself that comparison has limits, but still I worry: if I take my attention away from my own recovery to be more available to others, could I put myself at risk? That fear makes me feel selfish. And yet I know—because others remind me—that if I don’t take care of myself, I won’t be able to care for anyone else.
When I began this Recovery52 project, I intended to keep each weekly post short and focus on one topic. This one is broader, but these areas deserve attention as I move forward. I can work on multiple fronts. I will keep alcohol out of my life while expanding my field of view—addressing lifestyle habits, strengthening my mindfulness, and being more fully present for those who need me. To be of service, with action.