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Recovery52 – Week 52 – A Finish Line
“It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.”
— Aristotle
My 52-week photography and recovery project is complete. I expected to write about the pride of reaching this milestone and the transition to a new photography project—topics I will return to shortly. But life had other plans, and recent events demanded attention first.
A projected winter storm arrived last Saturday morning. I shrugged off the warnings, thinking a couple of “snow days” might be relaxing—an excuse to slow down. The snow came, and at 11:49 a.m., the power went out. At first, it felt almost playful. I pulled out my flashlight and headlamp, bundled up, and let the child-like excitement settle in.
But the outage didn’t last a few hours—it lasted nearly five full days.
Recovery52 – Week 46 – Seeking Truth
“All too often we’re filled with negative and limiting beliefs. We’re filled with doubt. We’re filled with guilt or with a sense of unworthiness. We have a lot of assumptions about the way the world is that are actually wrong.”
— Jack Canfield
In last week’s post, I committed to staying mindful when negative and limiting beliefs surface—to pause, reflect, identify their source, and question their truth and usefulness. My intention was, and still is, to challenge the beliefs that continue to influence me today.
Recovery52 – Week 44 – Happy Thanksgiving!
“Fear is a question. What are you afraid of and why? Our fears are a treasure house of self-knowledge if we explore them.”
— Marilyn French
“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.”
— John F. Kennedy
This week’s post opens with two quotes that feel especially relevant to where I am in my recovery. Last week, I committed to beginning deeper work on the fears rooted in my early childhood. That commitment still stands. But with Thanksgiving arriving, it also feels important to pause and acknowledge gratitude—something woven into this holiday from childhood onward.
Recovery52 – Week 43 – Pick Up The Shovel
“If one is estranged from oneself, then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others.”
— Anne Morrow Lindbergh
In preparing to write this week’s post—and following last week’s intention to dig deeper into the roots of my substance abuse and long-standing patterns—I reread every post I’ve written so far. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made: the sobriety I’ve held, the growth I’ve earned, and the consistency of this photography project.
But rereading also made something unmistakably clear: I’ve been staying safe.
Recovery52 – Week 42 – My Why
“Fear is the memory of pain. Addiction is the memory of pleasure. Freedom is beyond both.”
— Deepak Chopra
Here I am at Week 42 of this photography project documenting my recovery from alcohol addiction. Forty-two weeks of steady work—self-analysis, self-awareness, and daily practice of healthier skills and habits. I have changed the way I react to external triggers and how I respond to my internal thoughts and feelings. I’m proud that I have not turned to the false comfort of alcohol this year. And still, I know there is more work to do.
Recovery52 – Week 40 – Transitions
“A man's pride can be his downfall, and he needs to learn when to turn to others for support and guidance.”
— Bear Grylls
This week brought unexpected change in my recovery support network. After more than ten months of consistent, steady work with a therapist who helped me rebuild my life, I received an email letting me know he would be leaving the practice. We would have only one more session together. I sat in my car for a long time after reading the message, letting the weight of it settle.
Recovery52 – Week 37 – Moving Forward
“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”
— Buddha
I’m a couple of days late with this week’s post, missing my self-imposed Thursday deadline. And I’m completely at peace with that. I chose instead to enjoy a road trip through central Washington, traveling part of the Cascade Loop with a good friend. We drove long miles on rural roads, photographed landscapes, and embraced a sense of adventure. A missed deadline was a small price for time well spent.
Recovery52 – Week 30 – My Coping Styles
“Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
— Aleatha Romig, Consequences
As a follow-up to last week’s reflection on defense mechanisms, this week I’ve been thinking about coping mechanisms—what they are, how they function, and the ways I’ve used them in both healthy and unhealthy ways. My goal is to connect past alcohol misuse with ineffective or maladaptive coping strategies while becoming more aware of how I currently respond to stress.
Recovery52 – Week 28 – Avoiding and Evading
“We cannot selectively numb emotions; when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”
— Brené Brown
I’m a couple of days late with this week’s post. My Recovery52 schedule—publishing every Thursday—has become a quiet form of accountability. Without goals, I drift; without structure, I slip. The delay came partly from a needed camping trip, and partly from wrestling with a topic too big to fit neatly into a single week’s reflection.
Recovery52 – Week 25 – Feeling My Feelings
“We cannot selectively numb emotions; when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.”
— Brené Brown
Unapologetically, I find myself circling the edges of fear again—resistant to diving straight into the deep. Last week I wrote about exploring the fears that hold me back: fears of hurting myself or others, of being hurt by others, and the very human fear of uncertainty. These fears were shaped over a lifetime, living both in the mind and the body. But this topic requires honesty and vulnerability, and I don’t feel ready to reveal more without additional contemplation and conversations with people I trust.
Recovery52 – Week 24 – Trust and Fear
“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.”
— Nelson Mandela
I’m writing this week’s post on the Fourth of July. Invitations to parties and potlucks have come in, and there are plenty of events happening around me. But I’ve chosen to stay home—away from environments where alcohol will be present. Two honest thoughts guided that choice: first, would I be susceptible to the old whisper of “just a little, you can handle it now”? And second, would I feel left out or unsettled watching others drink? I even avoided grocery shopping this weekend to sidestep the crowds stocking up for celebrations. It simply felt wiser.
Recovery52 – Week 21 – Myopic Recovery
“It is great to be introspective, self-analysis can be useful, but only if it results in action.” — Joe Sacco
I feel solid in my sobriety. But through deeper awareness and the self-inventory work I wrote about last week, I’ve also been feeling a sense of selfishness in how narrowly focused my recovery has been. I’m strong and successful in my abstinence from alcohol. I appreciate the clarity of mind, the physical improvements, and the integrity returning to my life. I feel in control of my addiction.
Yet while my recovery mindset serves me well around alcohol, I can still see echoes of addictive thinking in other parts of my life:
Recovery52 – Week 20 – Taking Inventory
“Ask yourself if what you're doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.”
— Paulo Coelho
In recent posts, I’ve written about using mindfulness to stay aware of my thoughts and feelings, giving myself the chance to choose healthier responses to triggers rather than seeking escape or numbness. I call these “pause points,” and they’re becoming habitual — a very good sign in my recovery.
This mindful awareness has become powerful support for my day-to-day progress. But lately I’ve realized I want to move beyond the familiar “one day at a time” mantra. That mindset is essential in early recovery, but it can’t carry the full weight of a long-term life. The Paulo Coelho quote struck me because I’m not always clear on the second half of the question: if I don’t know where I want to be tomorrow, how can I know whether my choices today are leading me in the right direction?
Recovery52 – Week 04 – Perspective & Choice
“Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” — Roy T. Bennett
At the end of last week, I thought I might continue exploring the tools I use to separate reaction from response, but as this week unfolded, my reflections kept returning to something deeper: how perspective shapes the choices I see — and the ones I believe I have.
Recovery52 – Week 01 – Change
“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.” — Jim Rohn
This first post marks the true beginning of my Recovery52 journey — an honest look at my substance abuse, my missteps, and the healing I’m trying to work toward.
The project is meant to share my thoughts, experiences, and emotions — the hardest things for me to express — through weekly posts and photographs that capture what resonates most in each moment. These reflections serve as both personal therapy and, I hope, a source of encouragement for others in recovery.