“Recovery is not simple abstinence. It’s about healing the brain, remembering how to feel, learning how to make good decisions, becoming the kind of person who can engage in healthy relationships, cultivating the willingness to accept help from others, daring to be honest, and opening up to doing.”
— Debra Jay
This week felt like a genuine success — even a reason to celebrate. Tuesday was my 65th birthday, a milestone for many people, and my first truly sober birthday in four years. I fully enjoyed the clarity and steadiness that recovery has given me. For the first time in years, I woke the next morning without a hangover, without shame, without regret. I felt grounded, clear, and hopeful about what lies ahead on this journey.
Not being alone made all the difference. In past years I tended to go silent — something I’ll explore in a later post — but this year was different. I received warm birthday messages on social media, shared a morning hike with a Meetup group, had good conversations with family and friends, and enjoyed a wonderful afternoon and dinner with one of my closest friends. The whole day felt genuinely uplifting, and not once did I feel tempted to drink.
As the day approached, I felt a little apprehension, remembering past birthdays lost to alcohol. I wasn’t worried about relapse, but I was mindful of the old triggers that live in my memory. One question lingered in my mind: how would I feel the next day, when the celebration was over? Would there be a sense of letdown? The morning after, I was relieved — I felt good, stable, and ready for another year of sober life. I even had a therapy session to share my success, and a carpet cleaning scheduled to make my home feel fresh.
Looking back, the values that made this birthday meaningful were clear: my mindfulness and strength in recovery, the support of family and friends, genuine connection with others, and a sense of optimism about the life ahead.